To My Daughter

To my Elize love-


You mean the world to me.  It's killing me to see you having such a rough time this year.  I know you're gonna emerge from this stronger & better than ever though.  I have had the privilege of raising you for 12 years & I know the beautiful heart & soul you truly have.  Right now it's covered with hurt, anger, confusion & uncertainty about who you are.  But I know it's there still. 


You have always been my "golden child".  I know that's not politically correct to say, but you have been.  I have never seen a child SO loved by peers, adults, authority figures, younger kids & even pets SO much.  But that was you.  I couldn't take you anywhere without hearing ppl say they wanted to keep you & how wonderful you are & how respectful you were for your age.  Man, you made this mama burst with pride every day!! 


You are so beautiful to me & if I have ever made you feel any less than what I think of you, I'm sorry.  Because you are amazing to me.  There is nobody as close to my heart as you are.  I had you so young that I feel like we almost grew up together!  You've always been my road dog, my mini-me, my sidekick, my everything.  For years it was me & you against the world.  So I know it's hard to adjust to now having a pretty big family.  Going from 1 sibling looking up to you, to 3 of them.  That's a lot of pressure.  I understand that.  I also think you're up for that challenge & that you're gonna do great at it.


This rough patch with us will smooth out.  Because I'm willing to do whatever I need to do, to get things right.  To get you happy again.  To get you to love yourself again & realize your self worth.  I love you with all my heart & we WILL get through this.  I won't just let you slip away because I'm busy with the rest of life.  I promise you that.  You are a priority to me.  You always have been & always will be.  I may not always use the best approach or know the right words, but it isn't because I don't love you or I don't want to try.  It's just because I'm human.


I love you babygirl.  I hope that you get what you need while you visit your dad & when you come back, we can start refreshed & at a new place.  Your family supports you, even in times of bad behavior. I promise this.  Family first ya know?  We may have a big one, but that's just more love.  


It's hard being a teenager.  It's hard having a blended family.  It's hard having to scoot over to make room for Carmichael with me.  I get it.  & I'm gonna help make it easier for you.


I love you.


Love, Mom