My Confession

I'm not perfect.

Calm down.  I know it's shocking.

But it's true!

Now, let's get serious.

When I started taking my relationship with God seriously....

I changed.

& so did most of my relationships.

Some ended, others got stronger, but things were definitely different.

I think some folks expected I'd open my heart to Him & then....

just stay the same.

But wait, that makes NO sense at all!!

Why would I do that?!?!

Giving my heart to my children changed me.

Giving my heart to my man changed me.

So why wouldn't giving my heart & LIFE to my Creator change me?

If I stay the same then did I REALLY open my heart?

The answer is no.

You can believe in God all you want.

That won't get you to heaven.

*GASP!*

It's true.  Think about it.

Even SATAN believes in God & he's not steeping foot past the pearly gates.

You have to do more than believe.

You can't get something, no...EVERYTHING for nothing!!!

You can't have eternal life (in Heaven) after you die if you don't surrender yourself to Him.

It doesn't work like that.

Sorry.

My house has been turned upside down by Jesus lately.  

There have been baptisms.

3 have been called to do work for our church.

Children have been dedicated.

Relationships have been fixed.

Forgiveness has run rampant.

Blessings are given daily.

Everything is CHANGING!!!

Even financially.

It's no secret we're a young, large & sometimes struggling family.

But we still decided to start tithing.

& I can't lie.

It scares me.

Last check the tithe would have been almost $100.

That's a lot...to me.

But we're supposed to rely on God to provide where we fall short right?

To trust Him?

Have faith?

Well that was really hard. 

We tithed $40.

Ugh.

It's not that we didn't WANT to tithe the whole $94.

We just failed at resisting the fears of our extremely tight budget.

& let me tell you....

the guilt of it was NOT worth it.

We will do better next time.

We will trust.

We will have faith.

We will f.r.o.G.

I love that the little kids compete over who gets to pray over our meals.

I love that I've seen my guy on his knees praying.

I love that leaders in the church know our names.

& our kids names.

& are drawn to call us to serve the Lord by volunteering for our church.

I love all of that.

But mostly....

I love my God.

Jesus saved me 10 years ago.

[Thank God]

But now that I'm actually walking with Him,

Everything has changed.

Without changing at all.

& I don't miss the "old" me.

Not even a little.

& I'm sure nobody else does either.

[cept 1 person that doesn't understand]

The old me SUCKED.

THIS me is awesome.

Not perfect.

But awesome.

& I praise Him for the awesome in me.

I praise him through my storms.

Then I thank Him for the sunshine & rainbow that follows.

God is good.